Talk:Rōnin Shiba
Opinion Hmm... well, first off, and this is just a personal thing of mine, the header quote should almost always be something that the character of the article stated, and one of their most important statements that really shows what kind of character they are. For instance, Seireitou Kawahiru's quote at the top speaks of his interests and how he defines himself as someone who "hates to lose." The quote by the Ryu Order would best go under a relationship section, where Kenji's relation with the Ryu Order is examined. I like the whole aspect of freedom playing a huge part in his personality. It is something that can easily be broaded in RPs, so well done. History and Synopsis... I'll be honest, I'm just gonna skip over. I've kept track with some of the stories you write, and the ones you RP with the GF group, and I know you come up with interesting plots, so I'll leave it at that and assume good faith. Abilities-wise, he seems well put together. The Healing ability should be marked under Kidō, not as its own part. One recommendation I'd make is, if you wanna still add more to him, try to see how far you can go with his speed. Considering his main element appears to be lightning, you should focus on Kenji's speed. You could come up with speed-related techniques, like Senka and Utsusemi; lightning is best known for its massive speed, so Kenji should focus on that more. Plus, the added bonus of focusing solely on speed is that since he usually uses lightning-style abilities prior to using Shikai (since his Shikai has more than just lightning), which would effortlessly throw off an opponent due to the element of surprise. Perhaps he could have a speed ability in which he sacrifices strength completely for speed, for like, a time-span of ten seconds, which would obviously cause his speed to effortlessly break limits. Anyways, moving further down, the concept of Kyoaku is rather interesting, and definitely is more unique than the entire "oh he has an inner hollow lulz", so well done there too. Now I feel kinda silly saying that, since I see the Hollowfication below. Still, overall, the additional abilities look pretty good. The only big issue I have with this article is the organization. I mean, Kyo has his own underlined section, and then you move to his Zanpakutō, which also has its own underlined section. The same for abilities. Zanpakutō should have only the bolded title, and it should be marked under Powers & Abilities, and the same for Hollowfication. Since Kyo is technically his own person, even if he's within Kenji, he should have his own section, but his Zanpakutō and even the fused state, should be marked under that section. Overall, on a scale of one-to-ten, I give this article an eight, but fix up the organization, and it would possibly become a nine. --Seireitou-shishō (My True Identity | Talk to Me :3) 20:34, January 8, 2011 (UTC) Thanks Firstly, thanks for the quick response and the comments, Sei. I'll consider everything, 'cause there all good points and I'll focus firstly on fixing the organization. As for his hollowfication, that ideas going to be dropped as a plot element later on. As for Kyoaku, I have to be honest. Your own Sanagi inspired that idea in the sense they're both inner beings and the concept grew from there. Thanks again for the input, Sei. Kenji Hiroshi 20:45, January 8, 2011 (UTC) Your Review! Introduction Right, the information is pretty concise and straight to the point. Though I admit that the titles makes reading the first part somewhat tricky. Though its easily achieved with some pondering. Right, I like that you put most of his story in this section. His escape from Soul Society. The creation of The Ryu Order - Whom I happen to be pretty interested in. His many conflicts with Averian, his close bonds to his friends. Pretty much everything that makes Kenji, into, well. Kenji. You also prove to be rather warm in your references to other character. Unlike most other "Main Characters" you're very generous with links to others you've roleplayed with. Which gives the introduction a really warm and friendly atmosphere (Either that or I'm simply being over-emotional) - And urges me to read more. While his introduction is certainly one of the longest I've seen. Its an easy-to-read section. And I'll take my hat off for that! Though I'd really love to find out his age at some point. It bothers me endlessly, though you've yourself hinted that he's quite old. Rating 9/10 - Excellent work on this one. Appearance Kenji's appearance is written in great detail. And I get a very clear picture on him in my mind - Which only expands upon reading more. Always a good sign. The very firm mention of his eyes is expected, though you should say they are Torquioise instead, which is the color you're looking for. Most certainly. Though the remark about all the women were pretty much given. If slightly off-putting. Again, for unknown reasons. You describe his face and hair rather well. Which only serves to strenghten the mental picture of his general appearance (Though I admit that the pictures are of a great help too). The combination is that one gets a very firm picture of him. Which is really good for roleplay, as it sets the picture in stone. As it is called. The fact that you took your time to describe his general outfit. His outfit while fighting, and the mention of the Ryu Orders red Haori also serve to leave good impressions. You also take your time to tell the reader what exactly he is wearing. And by using the japanese names to boot! Overall, I'm rather pleased with this section, and has almost nothing negative to say about it, other than what you might be able to read between the lines. Rating 8/10, very good. Personality Kenji seems to follow the track of freedom absolute. He's well written in that you give on in-depth information about him. And inspire others to do the same. For various reasons. I enjoy how he treats people equally, and how he practically always speaks straight from his gutter (An alegation to being overly blunt) Kinda reminds me of the real life me, that part. The fact that he's fully aware of the possible consequences, but yet don't give a damn made me chuckle to myself. He radiates a certain warmth and such when you mention how he treats everyone equally. And it gives a certain insight as to why he's so respected - The reference to the members of the Ryu Order also serves to confirm this to me. The fact that he so often turns up to a fight drunk is also pretty easy to imagine. (I guessed it when you described the fact that he most commonly sleeps around in his spare time, the link between these two things however. I have no idea of) His perceptive abilities also serve to surprise the reader positively. His musical side, despite an erie lack of talent. Serve to give him a certain, softer flow. And puts variation to things. Personality must always be done with care. So that the character doesn't appear shallow. Hiroya has that problem, which I'll fix pretty soon. Hopefully. And naturally, he has a dark side. Which imedeatly disqualifies him as a Mary Sue character. Though Its abit unnerving how you almost explicitially state it to be evident solely in his Masked form. But that is the only crticism I have about the whole section. Rating 10/10 - Not perfect, but easily one of the best I've seen. History Right, his background starts out nice and gloomy. Which I like. It informs about two characters. (Whom I first thought to be a homosexual couple. I blame my mindset for that, mind you. Though I quickly found out that this wasn't the case) The fact that he was found lying in the arms of a dead woman also immedeatly catches the readers attention. When you describe the attack you do so pretty detailed. The obvious "Bromance" of those two men serve to give the fight a somewhat touching undertune. Though it was fairly short, I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. The result is also fairly good, and it leaves a certain mention of a good and happy childhood. When it comes to his upbringing. I'll begin with the very first paragraph. I had easily imagined him to have that sort of attitude towards the fact that he wasn't the couples biological child. To him, and to more or less anyone else. It wouldn't matter in the least. I continue to read, briefly distracted by the picture to the right.. hum, hum. Moooving oon! There's definatly a continuation to that fussy and warm feeling. When you mention Ikkhaku and Yumichika. I enjoy reading this quite much. You bring out the personality of these two canon characters quite well. Which is rather rare. You put them well into mind as you write. And that is grand. Well, I'm going to skip the Synopsis section alltogether, as I don't have the time to go trough every one of his Roleplays. I hope you forgive me for this small inconsistency though. Rating 9/10. Powers & Abilities. I was not the least bit surprised to find out that he sported a Vast Spiritual Power (Could this be because I've read this article around... four times? Naaaah) You also make a good effort of describing why he has that much energy, which is done by his age. And the fact that he belongs to one of the great Noble houses (It takes someone deeply engrossed in the lore to know that part) Hats off for that! The mention of his accumulated special abilities are all well and good though. I especially enjoy the ability called Spiritual Energy Hardening because it is so unique and original in its structure. Kinda like an alternate, and weaker version of Shunko. The remaining abilities are for the most part general Shinigami abilities. Except for the Durability part, which I deduce to be tied to his enormous Spiritual Power. I've allready stated at an earlier point that I deem Kenji Hiroshi to be one of the most proficient close-combat fighters on this wiki. His flawless Swordsmanship, his knowledge of Kendo. And his aura of electricity are all major factors in this. The skill with Staff-like weapons is also pretty cool. And serve to further emphasize my point. Though I'm not familiar with the Yuengiri style. It certainly does seem like a pretty interesting concept, whom I hope that you will put some emphasis on in the near future. I'm however unable to state anything in this regard. Other than to commend you for your detailed explanation. As for the Shunpo part, I'm quite unaware of how he'd be able to perform such a high-level technique such as Utsusemi. Given that he is only an expert – And as such. I personally believe he'd be unable to access that information. Senka is possible, though I think it'd be really hard for him to execute it successfully. It IS a very complicated technique. Oh wait, he learned them from someone else! That explains it. Though I still think those abilities to be less efficient than they are when utilized by a master. As for his knowledge of Kido, I feel that you somewhat understimate the immense amount of skill and knowledge it takes to cast a spell above level 80. He uses a level 90 spell. And the fact that he needs an incantation doesn't quite cut it. Rukia is an Expert herself. And the highest spell she casted was a level 63 level Hado spell. And she needed an incantation for that one: I think that a Kido Expert to be insufficient for casting that powerful spells. I believe this to be highly inconsistent. And my critics in this area are very heavy. This you; in my own opinion, should change on way or another as soon as possible. It gets better when I read about his lightning abilities. Whom I thoroughly enjoy, as they put a certain spark to his allready fiery personality. The Light Step ability is as I mentioned once before one of the fastest abilities on this wiki. And yet it is balanced, which is pretty darn amazing! I like the fact that repeated usage of these abilities lead to thunderstorms and the likes. And how he's able to direct lightning to his will if it ever comes to that point. Similiar to how Hiroya's '''Ihakuchō Nehan '''currently works: In that it is affected directly by what the weilder does. Though the means of which they are, and their abilities differ greatly. The Lightning Gigai is quite neat, actually. Now, I'm not quite happy that you have added Advanced Growth Rate – I concider that to be an Ichigo-only trait, or simply it is just me being an elitist. Take your pick. I'm slightly surprised that he has Keen Intellect though. As he surely doesn't seem to attempt to prove it! I can get why he possesses power of deduction and tactical inteligence though. And his resolve was pretty much a given. Indeed. Rating 8/10 for the inconsistency reasons I mentioned. Zanpakuto I've grown quite fond of his Zanpakuto, it is unique in both its shape, style and most of its abilities. I also enjoy that it derives aspects from greek mythology in its attacks (I'm a great fan of mythology myself, as a matter of fact) The vast amount of elemental abilities it has also makes it highly versatile. Though in my opinion it should be nerfed just alittle in regards to the fact that it can use all of its attacks in either form. This is due to balance issues. As full control over the elements can come across as pretty cheap, as you'd be able to counter more or less any move that the opponent makes. It is despite this, one of my favorite Zanpakuto on the server. Though I still practically worship Naibu's. Rating 9/10 Allright, total rating for this article is an astounding 53/60! Vastly impressive, and great work!